Hard as Rock "The Fight"
The day comes when the 1st challenge is on. Their must have been at
least 200 motorcycles, Harleys, Indians.. The bet boards where up.. Hard
ROCK is blaring..The Truce Challenge has begun. I show up with Mary and
Michael.. There is Dump Ranger Palooka.. They Blind fold us.. We don't know
which challenge is 1st.. I get on the back of Buddha's Harley.. Michael rides
with Mary.. Of we go.. I'm pushed I can feel myself falling I look down..
Nothing but earth below me.. 20 feet below me is Dumb Ranger Palooka.. He
looks up at me.. Somehow, he starts slowing down.. He reaches out the and
Grabs my chute.. were fighting all the way down.. I have no ripcord neither
does he& we have headsets with mikes attached..I can hear the cheering
coming over the radio.. Wham I get hit.. He's grabbing at me.. we're falling
faster..faster.. I can see the buildings/cars / people getting bigger every
second.. I can hear the Headset.. Do you want us to blow the chute.. Hell if I'm
going to splatter might at as well do it the NAVY SEAL WAY.. I start
mumbling. a UDT SONG..
"Airborne Froggy"
c130 rolling down the trip air borne froggy going to take a little trip saddle up buckle up shuffle through the door jump right out and count to 4 if that chute don't open wide I got another by my side if that chute don't blossom round I'll be the first Froggy to hit the ground if I die in a combat zone.. Box me up and ship me home place my fins open my chest put me in the lean and rest..
Ripp I hear the Chutes blow off.. wham I hit the ground Fudge that hurt.. I
have blood dripping from my face.. I look over to DUMB RANGER PALOOKA
he looks no better.I start laughing.. "Do you want to do that again Ranger" He
looks at me.. and starts laughing too.. I say see ya in 3 days Again, I'm
blindfolded..On back of Buddha's HOGI'm thrown down into a hole as dirt
is dumped on top of me&I feel the pressure.. I'm breathing through a mask
everything is so dark.. I hear the headset..It's JimBOB.. Yelling at ME.. Yo,
Seal DUDE.. What's your name.." I answer "To you Jimbob. It's Robert".. He
says what did we get ourselves into.. I say can't be worse than all those ops
we went on..He starts laughing.. Ya your right&. " I'll see in daylight .. " I bet
ya I'll beat you to the top.. your on.. "WHAT'S THE BET HE SAYS.. You have
to drink a Budweiser.. He says "No man not that"&.. The last time I drank a
Coors was when I was 21 in Kingman .. I had grabbed one by mistake from
the Ice chest.. Man, that was some icky tasting beer..I can hear the crowd..
The music.. HARD ROCK.. I love hard rock..Jimbob starts a Cadence.
"In the Dirt"
In the dirt we are.. Buried like rats in a hole. DIG DIG we go .. we are rangers.. army navy rangers If we die.. let it be in a combat zone Dig dig we go.. We are rangers army navy rangers.. Let my momma know I wasn't in a 20foot hole.. next to Fool like me… we are rangers, army navy rangers RANGERS RANGERS The best of the USA RANGERS We are HARD as ROCK. we are rangers army navy rangers ROCK ROCK in my way.. chew it up and spit it away.. Dig Dig we go..
This reminds me of the time I was exploring a cave down in the canyon it
collapsed on me..I had to dig my way out.. I remember Grandpa Chief. telling
me to feel the earth.. it won't kill me if I the feel essence of life from it... 1 foot 2
foot digging digging.. ..I start chanting with JIMBOB. The crowd on top is
singing along with us..I hear cheering.. I guess Jimbob made it to top 1st..I
hear him on the Headset.. Robert I have cold Coors waiting for you.I'm going
to take my time getting out of this hole Yuckk not a Coors anything but a
Coors...I get up there is JIMBOB with a big grin on his face Sticks the
Coors in my hand.. I take a sip..everybody starts laughing.. apparently, I made
a BEER FACE I look at JIMBOB we can't stop what we have started.. He
says let's just take it a challenge at a time...If we make it to the Fist FIGHT
Then well know who toughest meanest ranger is won't we.. I look at him..
YOUR on BROTHER&..See ya in 3days "BOYS hurry go take a potty
break.. Michael please take care of my sons. I wasn't there for them.. please
tell their mom to forgive me.. for abandoning them again..3 more challenges
On back of Buddha's Hog.. I think were off to the lake Wow that's cold as I
feel my body sink down to the bottom of this lake..I can see nothing..I hear
ranger Jimbob.. Starting another cadence..
"Little Fishy's "
Down Down we go Like little Fishy’s we swin.. 2 tough army navy rangers.. paddling, stroking, swimming we go In this big swimming hole.. Up up we go.. to the top we better float.. Else, we’ll be nibbling food for Little fishy’s Ho ya hay, 1 2 here we swim Side stroke, back stroke, faster we go.. 1 2 were swimming fools… we are rangers, army navy rangers… RANGERS RANGERS The best of the USA RANGERS We are HARD as ROCK. we are rangers’ army navy rangers… Little fishy’s we be ,, swimming in the deep blue sea. Ho ya hay, we love to play.. Were rangers, army navy rangers..
I start laughing.. because everybody on the shore is singing too.The Little
Fishy's song Again, I make a bet with ranger palooka.. This time I'm not
going to drink that nasty beer I can barely see the shoreline.. I guess they
weighed us down with about 100lbs of weight.. This Feels GOOD..My
soul is coming back to me finally after 20years..I feel like I'm in Supai
swimming down the creek..The eagles way up high,, circling, circling.. they go
as I float down the blue green water..I feel something on my head.. It's ranger
palooka swimming next to me We start a rhythm together.. 1st he leads, then I
lead. closer and closer is the shoreline.. Bikers, cowboys,, long hairs, buzz
heads,,,They're all shouting and screaming I say to JimBOB .. OK
Brother it's your turn to drink my beer..A BUDWEISER A butt wiper he yells
at me.. As we both start swimming like fools.. I beat him by the end of a
fingertip We both scream AHHHHHHHHHHH this one really hurt......
The party begins.. As I'm leaving.. I go up to JimBOB.. thanks brother..
see ya in 3 days.. He tilts his head in acknowledgement, I open my eyes.. I'm
standing in my Jockey's that Mary made me put on..me and Jimbob almost
back to back on stage.. everybody is screaming and yelling.. As I feel hands
and lips all over my body..there is JIMBOB Next to me grinning from
ear to ear. I guess this is the 4th challenge.. The crowd is shouting 1
minute.. 2 minutes.. If one of us closes our eyes our pops the weasel.. we
lose I have to concentrate these women are beautiful.. 20 minutes of this,
they can only touch us with there hands or lips not in the groin area.. and
we can't move.. I start a cadence I have to distract my mind..
"In our Skivvies "
In our skivvies we stand proud as can be..army navy ranger men stand tall be proud.. 1 2 here we go.. We are the meanest the baddest mofo’s in the world.. But here we are standing like fools Hoping our momma ain’t seeing the show.. Pop pop goes the Weasel… If by chance, you happen to see.. It wasn’t me Standing next to a fool bigger than me… Ho ya hay.. This is the American way.. Let the whole world see ya with nothing to hide… BE proud stand tall.. 1 2 3 4. We are rangers Army navy Rangers. Hard as rock we can’t be for it will spoil our women’s fantasy.. Weasel weasel.. stay in your cage.. you’ll get to play on another day… Army navy rangers we will always be… YAAAAAAA
I wish I was back buried in the ground..or pounding Jimbob in the air.. I hear
the crowd yelling 10 minutes.. That's all it's been I can hear the women
talking to me.. Saying.. "forget about Mary.. we'll give you more pleasure than
you'll ever know.. We'll make you hard as rock" 12 minutes.. I can feel the
sweat oozing from every pore in my body..Just don't pop the weasel..
think about Mary. no, don't think about Mary.. think about my momma.. ya
that's it.. "Jimbob.. stand tall..think about your momma.. " I can hear him
breathing louder and louder. The crowd is going WILD the Music is getting
faster 14 minutes they scream. There's Mary and Janet right in front
staring at me and Jimbob..16minutes.. No I can feel the blood pumping going
down to my groin area .. 18minutes The women are going faster and
faster stroking, touching, feeling, licking, talking aahhh this is worse than
anything I have ever experienced Jimbob 2 more minutes.. .. I start talking..
I'm going to kick your white asss.. when we get you in the parking.. lot.. He
responds. no way beaner.. 19 minutes.. you can't hear a word the crowd is
in a frenzy look at Mary and wink.. she smiles back.. 20 minutes it's
over...
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